I help individuals and companies brand themselves online, but I'm pretty bad at doing it myself.

Now I'm posting miscellaneous things and ideas at alisamanjarrez.com. It will be better that way, right?

Anyway, nice meeting you.

-Alisa

I wouldn't consider myself to have that bad of judgement when it comes to dating, but sometimes, a girl can make mistakes. Recently, I've found myself rejoicing over guys who are no longer in my life. Interestingly enough, most of these guys dressed way better than I did...I'm still not sure what to think about that, except that these dudes were all bad news.

Cases in point (side note: I'm pretty terrible about coming up with names, as you will see):

The Farting Noise-Maker (FNM)

I don't like using the term fart - I prefer to say passing gas or just not talk about it at all. Anyway, this guy, the FNM, was handsome and dressed well. We were at dinner and before we left, I went to use the restroom. I came back to the table chuckling, because there was a woman humming her heart out in one of the stalls. I told my date about it and he proceeded to sing "I Wanna Hold Your Hand," making farting noises every time he lifted his left butt cheek. He was very LOUD, and I was mortified. Immediately, I had a flash-forward 10 years ahead with the two of us sitting at the dinner table with our kids and FNM getting the whole table to synchronize their butt cheek and farting noises to the beat of the hottest new song. I continued to date FNM, unfortunately, and later that dinner instance ended up on the pro side of my pros and cons list: musical.

The Devil-Worshipper (DW)

First, let me say that I have a weakness for men in gingham. DW still wears his black and white checks to this day. The first time we talked, he told me about his fascination with the satanic bible (I'm not capitalizing those), and about how his excessive drug and party days were coming to an end (uh huh...). Oh, and his love for "fine dining." I was most put off by the fact that he used "fine dining" in a sentence. See? Bad judgement. Even worse, I told my parents about him (shock value, maybe?). The only real reason I planned on going out with him a second time was because he was going to take me to a restaurant I had always wanted to try. He ended up completely flaking out, which was probably a very gracious gift from God.

The Good Hair Guy (GHG)

To tell you the truth, I never really noticed this guy's hair (but he owned a gingham shirt, too!). Red flag #1: we went out while his girlfriend was in London. He was so dreamy that I just pretended like they were probably on a break (it could have been the case, right?). Plus, this was more of a casual group date kind of thing where we went to a few different places. Red flag #2: He wore a man purse. Now, I'm not completely against man purses; sometimes they can be very utilitarian. He carried it around with him all night, to every location. Finally, I couldn't take it. "What's in your bag?" ...I don't even want to tell you what he told me...I'm still too embarrassed for him. The entire evening, in addition to his wallet (logical), he was lugging around hair products with him because "it was windy."

The Gay Guy (GG)

I know, this shouldn't need a description. I was never really interested, but he was super fun. Besides, GG told me he only pretended to be gay because it was easier to explain to the skeptics, so I just went with it. However, he did get jealous every time I wore a cute new shirt. Eventually, he professed his love for me, and he was shocked that I wasn't interested because he was too effeminate. This was a situation where brutal honesty had to take precedent. Maybe it helped him determine a more definitive direction, because the last I heard was that he and his boyfriend were very happy together.

Three-Bite Tom (TBT)

Tom is not his real name, of course, but TBT may be the most depressing date of them all. We went to lunch at a place that sold Chipotle-sized burritos. This is what happened - he took three bites, got FULL, then asked for a to-go box. I ate my entire burrito (of course). Then, when the bill came out to less than $8, he said, "Yes! This is the cheapest date I've ever been on, plus I have dinner tonight!"

Never. Again.

I know Thanksgiving won't be here for another seven months, but my grandmother found this cleaning out her office today. I think I left this note for her in 5th grade. 

Celebrate the turkey.

(download)

Click here to download:

IMG_0541.MOV (1.95 MB)

Here's another screen test:

(download)

Click here to download:

IMG_0539.MOV (347 KB)

Watch out for me at the next Sundance Film Festival.